July 15

Okay, I took the weekend to 'get right' with things. I'm feeling okay. Not as optimistic as last summer but hey, I think there's good reason for that. Since the cancer returned in an area that has already gone through radiation, I think I'm pretty much SOL. So, I'll get through whatever I need to get through and do the best that I can with however things end up.

I spoke to Jamie about taking over my house and furballs if I kick it. He's in. He's not happy that I need to make such a request, but he's in. So, I have an appointment with a lawyer tonight to start getting a will in place and to see what can legally be drawn up to make the house thing happen. There's probably other stuff that I need to do or at least think about. Hopefully the lawyer will be able to give me some guidance.

Had a serious talk with my babydoll on Friday night. Told him that I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to bow out. We've only been dating 6 months. Asking him to deal with someone recovering from cancer is a lot different than asking him to deal with someone with active cancer. He told me in no uncertain terms that he's in 100%. I love that man to pieces.

Dr. B asked me last Thursday if I needed a refill on the Vicodin. I told her I had just gotten it filled and thought I was all set. She seemed reluctant to believe me. Today I decided it probably wasn't a bad idea to get it refilled this week in preparation for the biopsy on Wednesday. I imagine having them cut a chunk of the base of my tongue/throat is going to hurt. I talked to Rachel the nurse this morning about picking up a script while I am there on Wednesday. She seemed to think I was really going to want it sooner than that so I picked it up today to keep her happy. I'm suddenly getting the feeling that the docs/nurses want me WELL supplied with pain meds. It's kind of worrying me!

Today I filled out an on-line medical history. Tomorrow I have to call the surgery center after 11:00 to find out when my procedure is scheduled for. I took all of Wednesday off from work. The post-op appointment is currently set up for 7/31 although front desk Becky said she may try to pull that in. She just wanted to get something on the calendar now because Dr. C books up so fast.

I also sent an entire Word document to Cathy, my inside contact at Dr. C's office, with a TON of questions for Dr. B/Dr. C to start thinking about. For example: Dr. C said that there's a strong likelihood of me losing the ability to swallow, hence the feeding tube, but I started wondering last night, what about my saliva? I'm assuming I'll still be doing some swallowing, right? Can you imagine me lurching around, drooling constantly?? UGH. These are the types of thoughts that were rattling around in my brain all weekend.

Fun stuff:

Tonight I'm having dinner with my honey bunny at the Crab Shack before my lawyer appointment. Friday it's off to the Comedy Club with Jamie and our mutual friend Kim who is in town this month. Saturday, Scott had mentioned doing a little retail therapy at Waterloo Outlet although the weather is looking pretty sweet, I might see if I can convince him that a round of golf would be more fun.

And this morning I received a request from Scott's niece for some sweet treats. My chocolate chip cookies and 7 layer bars seemed to have been a big hit at her graduation party! Instead of the way to my heart being through my stomach.....if you really want to get on my good side, ask me to cook/bake for you. She made my week! Hopefully she and her hubby are available on Thursday night so that Scott and I can kick their ass at some cards. The beating, of course, won't bother them because they'll be all doped up on a sugar high from the goodies I will bring. :-)