December 4 - My high hopes for the lozenges have been dashed. It's been a week. I still have thrush. Doc didn't say I HAD to stop taking the full dose after 7 days so I'm still doing 5 lozenges a day. I also received an e-mail from Sush today with some getting rid of thrush tips. Gargling with saltwater was one of them. It made me realize that I stopped using the salt/baking soda rinse in my water pik a while back. So, this morning I started it up again. I've used it twice already today and will use it again before I go to bed. He also said to eat unsweetened yogurt and avoid high sugar foods. I'll try the yogurt as soon as I get back to Wegman's but due to the ongoing weight loss, I have to ignore the sugar advice.

I have an appointment with Dr. C for 12/18. I guess Dr. A's persistence paid off. We'll see if he does a scope and what he has to say about the swelling that doesn't seem to be going away.

My weekend with Kit at her cabin was a ton of fun! I managed to get half of a scarf done! Now I have to work on getting it mostly completed so that she and I can meet up at a coffee shop and she can teach me how to "cast off" when knitting. (How cool am I that I now know knitting lingo??)

Kit did a great job at trying to keep me fed. I was "mommed" nearly to death for a day and a half but I've added applesauce to the things I am now eating. It makes my tongue sting but if I coat up with the Lidocaine ahead of eating it, it's not so bad and gives me a new vehicle for transporting calories into my body. We also tried lobster stuffed tilapia and mashed potatoes and gravy, neither of which really worked from a swallowing standpoint but "A" for effort.

The cabin was just as gorgeous as I remember. One big room that is kitchen, dining room, and living room combined. A separate bedroom and bathroom on the main floor and then a spiral staircase going up to a huge loft with two beds. The staircase goes down to a really clean, nicely laid out basement as well. Kit let me have the bedroom on the main floor because the spiral staircase was intimidating even if I wasn't on heavy pain meds and I'm usually up 2-3 times a night still.

Spending the weekend there has re-motivated me in regards to my dream to own some wooded land that I can someday build MY retirement cabin on. When I got home Sunday night I immediately made up a household budget in Excel and I am now tracking where I am spending every nickel and I'm going to start socking money away like crazy into my savings account towards my land dream! I WILL make it happen! This means no shopping trip to Lord & Taylor this weekend for new pants for the company holiday lunch. It's just coworkers, nobody I need to impress so any pair of black pants is sure to look nice with the red blouse I bought. I have enough clothes to last a lifetime so I'm cutting myself off no matter how much fun it is to shop when you're skinny. Saving for land is more important!

Unfortunately I was up during the wee hours Sunday night/Monday morning, throwing up (I hope Kit is okay, I need to check in with her and make sure this was just a 'me' thing!). And I did it again when I got up to get ready for work a few hours later. I HATE nausea. I couldn't decide if I felt bad enough to just stay in bed the entire day or if I felt okay enough to work from home. I decided to start working from home and see how I felt as time passed. At 9:00 am I realized I hadn't taken my pain meds in a while and my tongue was burning. I checked the spreadsheet I've been keeping and it had been 13 hours since I had last taken the meds! I was pretty proud that I had made it that long. So, I went ahead and took some pain medication and the next thing I know the nausea is totally gone and I felt absolutely fine. WTH? I don't think the meds are supposed to cure nausea so is that a sign of addiction??! I'm freaking out a little over here!

Winter is here so I've started lotioning my entire body when I get out of the shower. I figure not only is it good for dry skin but it has to be of some help to all of the scars as well, keeping them supple and moisturized, right?

I've decided to move the sleeping thing off of the list of no improvements. Even before this adventure I was always up at least once a night for a bathroom break. Now I'm up for a bathroom/water pik/get a drink/take pain meds break which lasts ~20 minutes instead of 5 but still isn't too terribly disruptive. Besides, I really want to take something off the darned list for the mental boost it causes. :-)

Improvements:
- I'm sleeping in 5-7 hour blocks pretty consistently now.

No Improvements:
- Some things taste meh, some things taste okay, some things taste rotten.
- Mucusitis on the good side of my tongue burns.
- My tongue is still swollen and touching the back of my throat, making me gag.
- Diarrhea is still going on.
- I'm still losing weight.
- I'm still using the water pik 3 to 4 times a day to keep my mouth clean.
- I'm still not producing spit.
- Garbled talking.
- Bloated face every morning.

I started reading a book called The Happiness Project. It's about this chick who is pretty happy with her life but feels that she should be more appreciative of it and could probably be happier. She did a slew of research on what causes/creates happiness, then she defined 12 areas of her life where she felt she could improve her happiness, one for each month of the year. Then for each month she laid out 4-7 "resolutions" for herself that would help her achieve more happiness if she accomplished them. I'm only up to April so far but I'm really digging this whole idea. I've written pages of copious notes detailing my own ideas for a happiness project. I'm planning on kicking mine off on January 1st. Make it a year long New Year's resolution for myself. As a bonus, when I have nothing exciting to report to you on my physical health, I can always report to you on how my mental health is coming along. Ha!

Alas, I actually thought I would be done with the blog by the end of the year. Thought I would be eating somewhat normally by now and would have put all the unhealthiness behind me. Since that's obviously not happening, my new goal is to be eating normally by March 1st. I sure as hell hope I can achieve that!