October 23

So the big day had some ups and some downs. Jer dropped me off in the morning. The entrance that I go in now is super convenient. I walk down a flight of stairs and voila, I'm at the radiation center. I did, indeed, get to see Dr. S for a brief moment. He's VERY unhappy with the tumor on my neck. He said that we'd proceed as  planned for now but he was going to talk to Dr. Miller about this re-occurrence. The radiation itself went really fast. I spend less than 10 minutes in the machine. The one bummer is that with my neck being even more stiff now than last time, when they screw the mask into the table, it torques my head funny causing some pressure on the back left side of my head and it's a damn uncomfortable 10 minutes. They tried putting a little cushioning down for me but it didn't really seem to help. Guess I just need to suck it up. I should start planning my pain meds better too. Take them right at 8:15 as I"m walking out the door so that they're in full effect at 9:00. Next I was in the infusion center giving blood through my port. That process stung a little the whole time but it was bearable. Then I had an hour and a half wait to see Dr. K. Finally saw him, he said my blood looked good so chemo was on. Went back to the infusion center for another hour wait and finally got down to this chemo business. I had brought my lary bag so that I could do foods and meds at noon. Dummy that I am, I forgot to bring one of the adapter tubes for my new PEG. So, I was SOL. Then a stroke of luck happened. The chemo nurse needed to give me some meds through my PEG so she called upstairs to LiLo and had her 'tube' down an extra adapter tube for my PEG. SCORE! It now permanently lives in the lary bag. So I'm scrambling to get plugged in because by this time I'm starving and in need of pain meds and a volunteer wandered into my room. She sat down and introduced herself and gave me a gift of a crocheted lap blanket. She got me so distracted that I forgot to check to make sure the adapter tube was locked and the next thing I knew I had spilled stomach bile all down my leg and onto the floor. I was not pleased. She finally went away and I was left in peace. Nurse Mary had told me that it would be a 3 1/2 hour procedure. Turns out that's not the case. Although it could be the case if I fail to pee as much as they need me to or if the lab doesn't get my chemo mix made up in time for my appointment. But if everything goes okay, then it's only a 1 1/2 hour appointment. So Justin came and picked me up when all was said and done. He then buzzed me to Wegman's to grab a prescription and I was home by 4:30.

Taking the nausea meds is mandatory the first two days. You would think this would insure that I wouldn't get sick. Yeah, no. I ate a milkshake at 10:00 on Monday night. Went to bed around 12:30 and was then up 3 times during the night. Not because I was vomiting though. The milkshake kept coming up into the back of my throat and then it would leak over into my trach causing me to cough milkshake out of my stoma. Very unpleasant!! It continued happening the following morning after I got up too. I mentioned it to Joanna, the nutritionist, who happened to want to see me yesterday after radiation. She contacted Dr. Miller's team and I now need to see a nurse about it tomorrow at 11:30. Crap. I ended up not eating all day yesterday until 8:00 pm. Then I did 2 cans of Jevity. The regurgitation thing happened again at 10:00 pm but then I was fine for the rest of the night. I'm eating breakfast right now so we'll see if it continues to happen. One of the nurses today said that they can always prescribe me Prilosec or something for acid reflux.

I sent Dr. S an e-mail yesterday about my plane tickets to Florida from 12/2 - 12/7. He has me scheduled for radiation through 12/5 so I'm def canceling that trip. It's probably just as well. Dr. M filled out a claim form for the insurance company for the cruise refund saying that he didn't want me traveling for a year. I could probably get binged for insurance fraud if I took my Florida trip anyway!

Today I was done with radiation by 9:05 but had more unexpected appointments like the Joanna one yesterday. Today I met Clair and Carol who work with Dr. S. They just wanted to say 'hi' and make sure I was doing okay. Then Dr. S himself stopped in. He can't tell if my tumor is getting smaller or not. He said we'll give it to Monday. If it doesn't look smaller by then, then he's going to change his radiation plan to fully target just that nodule for now until we can blast it out of there. He said the second tumor had already been creeping down to my stomach and up to my brain so he doesn't want this third one getting a chance to do that as well. I asked him how he knew it was a tumor and not a cyst of some sort. He said it's very clear just by looking at it that the cancer is back. :-( So, Monday we'll see what's going on. Then they sent in a social worker to talk to me. she gave me a handout for a support group that meets every month. She also said that she can help me with paying bills if I start falling behind, or social work can even cover the cost of some of my prescriptions. She said to keep in touch with her.

So, that's the scoop for now. I AM feeling a bit run down but that might be because of not sleeping well. Today the boys are coming over for cards again. They will be munching on bourbon-mango pulled pork sandwiches, a cold dill pasta salad that includes diced ham, cheese, and grapes, and for dessert, chocolate lava cakes warm from the over with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, gently melting on the side. And here I thought my grocery bill would go down to nothing since I can no longer eat.........I guess there are more expensive hobbies I could have though!