October 10 - Today I turned 43 years old. Last year, on my 42nd birthday, I claimed it was going to be my best year ever. This year I'm simply saying things HAVE to be better than last year. Right? Knock on wood?

At least it's started out being better already. Kit took me out tonight for a Fribble at Friendly's (I also tried eating a reuben but that did not go well). And she made me the most beautiful scarf on earth! Then we went and played a game of putt-putt and she let me win. :-)

Everyone keeps asking how I am. Asking if there are any incremental improvements. I keep saying no and it's making me feel like a failure. So, I thought really hard about it yesterday to see what I could come up with. Here's the checklist:

Improvements:
- The bright red burn from my mouth down has faded quite a bit. I think it has even tanned up a little if that's possible.
- The disgusting peeling that was going on across most of my neck is just about done. There are a couple of small patches that I expect to be gone in the next couple of days.
- Nothing in my mouth bleeds anymore when I brush my teeth.
- My hair has stopped falling out in chunks.
- It's slightly easier drinking my Ensures.
- My neck feels slightly less stiff than it has for the past few weeks.
- According to my coworkers, my speech is sounding better and better every week.

No Improvements:
- My throat is still hurting like all get out at that place in the back on the top of my throat. Not sure why it's not healing.
- I'm still only able to sleep for 3-4 hours at a time.
- Everything still tastes absolutely disgusting.
- The 'good' side of my tongue is disfigured and burned (and hurts!).

- My tongue is still swollen and touching the back of my throat, making me gag.
-  Explosive diarrhea is still going on.
- I'm still losing weight.
- I'm still using the water pik 4 to 5 times a day to blow the ropey saliva and mucus build-up out of my mouth.
- I'm still not producing spit.

That's where things are at right now. Hopefully you find this somewhat more uplifting than my flat answer of "no" when you ask me if I'm feeling any better. And yesterday marked 2 weeks since radiation completed which means that I should be done cooking now. Today is my first day of actual healing. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and see a huge improvement. I'm not counting on it but hey, one can hope.

Tomorrow is my appointment with the head radiation doc, Dr. A. The only question I can think to ask is, am I getting all the nutrients that I should be getting? I'm a little worried that I'm going to get scurvy from not eating any fruits or vegetables. Also, I have heard that if vegetarians try to go back to eating meat, they get really sick (Kit says she has heard this too!). Is that going to happen to me as well?

I will report back in after the appointment and give you the scoop.