October 11 - Yeah, so can't say there were any big improvements when I woke up this morning. Thought I should let you know. ;-P

Lots of stuff to report today:

Weighed in at the doctor's (Kunkel would be proud, I kept my heavy clogs and leather jacket on) and according to Dr. A, I'm doing really well at keeping the weight loss under control. I'm only down 6 pounds since the last time I was weighed 2 1/2 weeks ago which she said is great. I felt like I should get a gold star or something but nothing was forthcoming.

Ensure DOES give me all that I need from a nutritional standpoint but only if I drink 4 of them a day. If I can't manage 4 a day due to my marble sized stomach, then I should be doing a Flintstones chewable every day. So, I picked up a bottle of those this afternoon. Also, she told me that Carnation Instant Breakfast made with whole milk is just as good as Ensure and much cheaper. This was good news because Ensure is $10 for a 6-pack! That just seems crazy to me! I looked for the Carnation stuff at Irondequoit Wegman's but couldn't find it. I'm going to check East Ave Wegman's tomorrow. Hope I find it!

She said that even once the peeling on my neck is done that I should continue to use the Aquaphor and she wants me to start doing passive stretching exercises. I guess the neck skin can get so stiff that turning your head becomes difficult and painful. If I start stretching now on a daily basis, I can avoid that. She also commented on my tan, so I guess I'm not imagining that. :-)

We talked about my bullfrog thing again. Since I lost so much weight it isn't quite as noticeable as it was. She said that it's going to get worse. She also said that I'll notice it constantly changing based on how much salt I eat, how much exercise I'm getting, etc. Oh goody.

She looked at my tongue. I asked her why the good side has a thick white skin coating it. She said it's called mucusitis. Radiation burnt the heck out of my tongue so a skin formed to protect it. She said it would eventually go away (~3-4 months) and underneath there will be brand new tongue skin.

I told her that I thought I had done well with everything up until the last week of radiation and then things went downhill fast. Yesterday I took the Roxicet before I went to work (because I needed it!) and then I was all spacey during the machine sale meeting that I run every week. Not good! So today I didn't take any Roxicet but I was in a lot of pain when I was talking to her at 2:45 and I came home after the appointment, dosed up and am heading to bed soon. She told me to pick up some liquid Advil. She thinks that will help me get through the day and then I can pull out the big guns once I'm home for the day. She asked me if I was still using the Lidocaine as well (the stuff I can paint onto my tongue). I told her not so much because it's not as effective as it was when I first started using it. She said that's because of the mucusitis. The Lidocaine needs to stay in contact longer in order to penetrate this protective skin that has formed. So, I'm supposed to mix it with a liquid antacid and hold it in my mouth for 5 minutes before spitting it out. Hmmm...might wait until I'm desperate before going through those shenanigans.

I got in trouble for taking a bite of a reuben sandwich last night. Turns out I'm supposed to ease my way back into food like I did when I first got out of the hospital. Cream based soups, ice cream, farina, etc. eventually working my way back up to mashed potatoes with gravy and mac and cheese. I told her I'm able to chew and it didn't hurt too awfully much so what's the problem? She said that a) the fact that it hurts at all is not good and I shouldn't be aggravating things that are trying to heal and b) due to all the swelling that's going on, and my lack of spit, things often don't go down the right paths and my chances of choking are much higher right now. Weird, but okay. I have another appointment with her in 2 weeks. She says it's like the opposite of Weight Watchers. She wants to continue to monitor me to make sure I'm not losing too much weight and to coach me on what I should be eating. So, I now have eating homework. She said during our next appointment she wants me to report back that I tried eating the above listed foods and let her know how it went. She said over the next 5-6 weeks I should notice my taste buds starting to wake up. I immediately argued that I was told it takes 6-12 months for those to come back. She said "wake up" not "come back". She said that I might find that I'm drinking one of my Ensure's and I will actually be able to tell that it's strawberry flavor. I didn't bother to let her know that I'm already there. As you know, I get a very faint aftertaste on a lot of things, like my pretzel stick where I could slightly taste the butter and bread.

Meanwhile, I must have made a face when she told me I'd be seeing her every 2 weeks because she commented that she won't be charging me (my insurance!) for any of these appointments because she's the one that brought me to this state, she feels it's her obligation to see me back out of it. Okay, I'm glad to hear she's not taking advantage of my insurance company but I still miss work for every appointment and it's still a reminder that my life is not normal. <sigh>

She commented about what a trooper I am to have worked through the whole course of radiation treatment. She said it's really unheard of. I had no idea what to say to that other than shrugging and saying hey, I have a mortgage to pay.

Sidebar: What's up with unsolicited touching from strangers? Dr. A pulls her chair so close to me that her knee is brushing against mine the entire time we're talking. Plus she reaches out and strokes my arm with her fingertips every 30-60 seconds. Um, ew? Does bubble of personal space ring a bell??

Allright, that's the latest scoop. I get to see the ENT doc next Friday. Until next time.......