October 2 - Today marks exactly 3 months since my surgeries and 1 week since I was last fried. So I'm here to report where things are at:

Sustaining the euphoria of being done with everything turned out to be mission impossible. Sitting around waiting for your body to heal is about as much fun as watching paint dry. And I suddenly seem to have developed a case of ADD. I simply can't concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes. Can't read. Can't watch TV. Can't play a computer game. Just can't keep my mind still enough to focus. Erg.

So. Supposedly 3 months was what it would take for the tongue swelling to go down and for me to possibly be talking normally. That didn't happen. As I found out last week, radiation actually causes swelling all on its own and the back of my tongue is still touching the back of my throat causing a gag reflex every once in a while. I'm trying to stay drugged up enough to ignore it. Nothing like managing to take all of your medicine and then turning around and vomiting it right back up again. No clue what to do at that point either. Re-take? Wait the 4 hours? Whatever.

I had to call the doc last Friday to call in some more Roxicet for me for the weekend. And today I received a prescription in the mail for another 2 weeks worth. Hopefully, that will do it. I'm taking it partially for the pain and partially for putting some distance between me and all of the other discomforts going on (gagging, nausea, etc.)

On a bright note, the pain has definitely lessened with swallowing and I am back to drinking 3 Ensure's a day (yesterday I drank 4!). Still hurts but it's an ignorable hurt and I know my body needs the nutrition to heal faster so it's all good.

Glad to be working from home again this week so that the bathroom is only 5 steps away (an all liquid diet really screws with your digestion system!) but am also looking forward to being back in the office next week because the isolation isn't sitting well with me.

Had a fantastic weekend with Patilda. Went shoe shopping, played cards, picked pumpkins....I was absolutely spoiled with attention. :-)

Every time I go to Wegman's to pick up a prescription, I end up walking out of there with something that I really should not have bought because I'm not going to be able to eat it anyway. As you may remember from previous posts, I'm a huge fan of salt and crunch. So, Saturday morning found me walking out of Wegman's with a bag of butter twist pretzels. Patty laughed at me. I told her I could at least open the bag and lay in bed smelling it, right? So, that's what I did on Sunday night except I didn't stop there. I actually ate one. a) Holy crap, salt on open tongue, mouth, throat sores.....so not a good idea. b) Pain aside, it was an absolute little bit of heaven. I could very faintly get an after taste of butter and bread! I then had to chug half a bottle of water to wash the darned thing down since I'm still not producing spit but hey, even the slightest degree of progress is still progress! I'll take what I can get!

Other random stuff:
 - Sammy had mentioned Mederma to me so I bought a small tube. You're supposed to use it 3x a day, I'm just slapping some on once a day but I swear I'm already seeing a difference. Probably all in my head but I'm okay with that. :-)

- I think my weight has finally stabilized. I'm somewhere between 145-150. Still chub girl but wearing my size 10 clothes which I'm perfectly happy with.

- I'm seriously considering taking up running along with my gardening/cooking hobby as soon as I'm feeling better. It would be a great way to offset any eventual weight re-gain. I have to sit down and come up with a plan.
- The one item on my bucket list has been put on hold. It turns out land loans are very hard to qualify, secure, etc. Banks want 30% down plus closing costs, assessment fees, etc. Screw that. I don't have quite that much in liquid assets to play with. So, owning land is going back on the shelf for another year or two. Guess I'll concentrate on making my actual living quarters a more fun place to be. I'm noodling with the idea of revamping the family room into a reading/library type room with a gas fireplace, mood lighting, papisan chairs.....gotta do some research.

Okay, enough rambling, you get the gist of where things are at. I'll report back again in a week and see what kind of incremental improvements I can astound you with!