September 10

Okay, this hurts WAY more than last time around. They just let me get up to pee though (was made to use a bedpan all night) and I look a hell of a lot better than I feel! Go figure.

Dr. V was in to see me last night. As babydoll mentioned, only 30-40% of the original flap had failed. Unfotunately it was the most important part. The part that had been used to restructure the wall of my throat. Dr. O and Dr. M were in to see me just a bit ago. They plan on kicking me out of here by Friday latest. They said everything went well and Dr. M still foresees me being able to eat and talk somewhere down the road.

So, let's take stock.....

My breathing feels very labored. They think it's a combination of two things. 1) I now have an actual trach tube. I simply had a wide open stoma before and didn't know it. The tube is much smaller to breath through than the stoma. 2)  Dr. M says there's a lot of pressure being put on the trach from the shoulder thing. He said we can reassess before they release me. Maybe bump up the size of my trach tube.

I can't close my mouth all the way. On the bright side, this means my mouth is bone dry so no drooling is going on but it's really uncomfortable. My cheek is really swollen so when I try to close my mouth, I'm biting down on the inside of my cheek. Ouch! They gave me a bunch of sponge suckers so I tried using one of those to push my cheek out of the way but there is simply too much swelling to allow me to do that.

My entire neck is swathed in bandages and will continue to be for the next 10 days while they let the skin graft take. I think Dr. M said the outer bandages will need to be changed daily though, much like the wound care that babydoll has been performing for me.

My left shoulder/pec is what hurts the absolute most. I flinch with the lightest of touches over there. I had the nurse hang a big sign over the bed announcing to everyone not to touch that side of my body. I know babydoll said it wasn't quite what he pictured but I didn't have the nerve to check it out in the bathroom mirror while I was in there. Dr. M said they had originally planned on taking the right side but it tuns out that all the dead stuff was on the left. I thought they had taken from the left because it's my non-dominant side and that it would now be weaker. Dr. M said no, unless I do a lot of bench presses, I'm not going to notice any weakness on that side. I'm told there's a large bump on that side where they bent the muscle in half to reach my neck. Dr. M said it will slowly subside over the next 3-4 months and not be noticeable, he said especially since I'm so thin, it will blend better. It seems so funny to have everyone calling me petite, and tiny, and a small lady, and having such a thin frame. Ah, if only they had seen me a year and a half ago when chub girl tipped the scales at 184 pounds. :-)

Lastly is my right leg. It's currently wrapped in a light pressure bandage from just below my knee to the very top of my thigh, and man, it stings. Guess that's where the graft came from.

So, that's where things currently stand. I believe I'm ready for a nap now. The fact that i can freely take one makes me feel a little bad. I ended up keeping babydoll here with me until 1:00 a.m. He's going to be dragging at work today, my poor boo.

Type at you peeps later!