September 9

Well, today's the big day.

Again.

Ugh.

I'm just sitting here, waiting to get the call to come in for surgery. It really sucks not being on their actual schedule. If I had a habit of biting my nails, I would be doing that right now. I haven't put anything in my stomach since midnight. No feed, no water, and most importantly, no pain meds. I'm not a happy camper.

My trach is driving me up a wall. I think I'm long past due for the lesson where I learn to take it out and clean it. I'm tempted to snip the stitches myself this morning and wing it. It keeps getting clogged and all the Qtips and suctioning in the world isn't helping all that much. It really just needs to be removed and scrubbed!! I bet if it weren't for this flap complication, I would have already been taught how to do this. <sigh>

As much as I love the cooler weather, I'm foreseeing a LOT of adjustments this season. I was just upstairs in bed, hoodie on, fleece on, covered in blankets and was still cold. Mind you, when you're a 'neck breather' you can no longer pull the covers up to your chin, you'll suffocate. Plus, when I'm in bed is when I wear the mister, so having wet air constantly blown at your neck tends to chill things down as well. So, I pulled out my big space heater and aimed it at myself. It warmed me up but I wasn't wearing the mister so within half an hour I was hacking because I was all dried out. So, then I put the mister on. Seemed to do the trick but I can tell you right now that babydoll is NOT going to be happy with the temperature the room was at. :-( I can't help it. I'm all skin and bones. I have 0% body fat to keep me warm. It's a problem!

I mentioned that I had joined an organization called WebWhisper. Some guy named Ron reached out to me:

Hi Cathy, Saw your name on the New list of Web Whispers from Rochester. My name is Ron Kniffin and Wife's name is Diane and we live in Penfield. We and two other larengectomies try to go to 2 meeting a month.   The first meeting is a Strong "Head & Neck Cancer" on the first Thursday of the month a 5PM. The second meeting is in Buffalo "Niagara Nu Voice Club" on the 3rd Thursday of the month at 7PM. The other Lary's in Rochester that usually attend .......Bob Crum from Webster and Don & Patty from Victor. If you would like to join us or need a ride just shoot me an email. Good luck, Ron Kniffin 

That was nice of him. I told him that as soon as I feel up to it, I'd contact him. I like being called a lary much better than a neck breather too!

Okay, I just had another choking fit. I ripped open a trach cleaning kit with the intention of just figuring it out. Luckily, before the scissors touched the stitches, I coughed up the clog from hell. No wonder I've been having breathing problems for the past 2 days! Holy crap!! I just sent Michelle an e-mail asking her who is supposed to be teaching me how to clean this thing and when it should be happening with the idea of the sooner the better.

Babydoll talked to Dr. M last night. Not a lot of new info came to light. The surgery will take 4-5 hours and I should be in the hospital for 3-5 days. The skin graft for my neck WILL happen today but babydoll didn't think to ask where the donor site is. I'm thinking it's probably going to be my ass. I sent a query to Dr. Miller but find it doubtful that he'll respond before the actual surgery.

Okay, I think I'm rambled out for the day. I did not have a good day yesterday due to nerves about today and today is even worse because I don't even have pain meds to send me off for a nap. Hopefully I'll type at you peeps again in a day or two.