March 11

I did a bad thing today. I looked at my neck. I've been avoiding it in the hopes that some kind of miracle is taking place due to the HBO treatments and that Dr. M would exclaim when he saw me on Friday. But then Sammy sent a text yesterday and she's wondering what's going on with my neck too so I decided to peek. Not good. There are now TWO screws showing. How many freakin' screws did he use to weld my jaw bone back in place?? Needless to say, the hole is even bigger since previously I could only see one screw. I have no clue what he's going to want to do about this damn thing. If I really do have to live with it being like this the rest of my life then I can kiss eating/drinking goodbye forever as well. <sigh> Twas a big bummer for the day.

Since I was already depressed I decided to try to use my speech prosthesis as well. It's not working either. Not sure if it's gummed shut or what the problem is but I can't make any sound whatsoever. I was reading the WebWhisper digest earlier today. There are a bunch of conversations going on about the different forms of 'speech' available to larys. Some arguments are breaking out as well, about which is the best way to speak. One guy finally wrote today that none of the ways to speak are available to him and becoming a lary has muted him for life. It's been four years now, and not a peep. He uses a boogie board, mime, texting, and word documents just like I currently do. He was really funny about it in his e-mail, while kind of shaming them. Talking about how he tried interpretative dance as well as communicating with drums but neither of those 'took'. He made me laugh. Reminded me of my friend H. I'm really glad I got hooked back up with that distribution list.

Watched quite a bit of Mary Poppins last night before crashing. Not sure I really want to finish it. It's simply not as good as I remember it being. I still have one more movie on my flash drive to watch. Something called Out of the Furnace. Neither baby doll nor I have even heard of it so it's going to be pretty exciting to see what the heck it's about. That might be on the agenda for tonight. Baby doll is still trying to kick his cold so we've been having quiet time on the couch at night.

I found someone to lavish attention  on this week! The sad thing is that I had to beg him to let me cook for him. What is wrong with people?? I asked him if my cooking really sucks and everyone is just afraid to say so. He claims that is not the problem. He just wants to see me and doesn't want me to feel like I "have" to cook for him. Nobody seems to 'get' me. Nobody is smart enough to comprehend how much happiness cooking really brings me. Except baby doll. He knows how much I love it. He loves seeing my eyes light up as I watch him eat whatever I put in front of him and I ask him questions about the taste, texture, and whatnot. One of the many reasons he has my undying devotion. Anyway, Toby is coming over for lunch on Thursday so I can cook up some chicken parm. I've been itching to make it again but there's some serious calories involved so baby doll would kill me. Luckily, I have some scrawny friends I can fatten up!

This morning I was out of the house bright and early to drop Ethan at the pound to get neutered. I was freaking all day because MY vet usually says no food or drink after midnight the night before a surgery. The city didn't make any stipulations like that. I decided to lock Ethan up in the cat carrier before I fed everyone this morning anyway, just to be somewhat safe. He's back home now and seems fine so we're good.

I was able to get in and do my HBO treatment early and then stopped at QED to pick up all my plants. It WAS Petey that Karen in HR said I could have. He is now happily ensconced in the workout room along with (4) Spider plants, a Yucca plant, and a tray of germinating seedlings. It's starting to look like a greenhouse out there!

I also went looking for my Notary Public stamp while I was at QED. It wasn't in my desk. I don't remember bringing it home. I sure as hell hope nobody decided to grab that and start forging my name to anything. I'm putting it in writing, right here and now, that I haven't notarized anything since August 22nd, 2013. Luckily, I'm pretty sure it expires this coming August so whoever took it doesn't have too much time to do evil with it. Why does life have to be such a pain in the ass??

I managed to find a little energy today and did some cleaning. I am now ready to receive, assemble, and start using my kitchen cart. I can't believe how excited I am about this stupid thing. Although I'm glad to be excited about anything right now after that period of depression. I'll take whatever I can get in the land of excitement!

I also started looking at my calendar for a good poker night. It looks like either 4/11 or 4/25 work on my calendar. I know. Seems really far out there, doesn't it? Turns out once spring hits, that's when all the plans start hitting too. There's a Home and Garden Show coming up, and baby doll and I are going to Toronto the first weekend in April to see a Yankee's game, and I got tickets to go see Phantom of the Opera, and........stuff. Stuff just happens and now I'm trying to squeeze a poker game in!

Okay, tonight is garlic chicken and orzo for my manly man. I don't think I've ever cooked orzo before. It's pasta but it kind of looks like rice? Interesting stuff whatever it is. We'll see if the light of my life gives it a thumb's up or not. Tomorrow night is an applewood smoked turkey breast tenderloin that I found in the sale bin at Wegman's for half price because it expires this week. Very low cal. Maybe some baby rosemary potatoes to go with it on the side.....ahhhh...have I mentioned how much I love cooking?? Finding recipes, shopping for deals, experimenting in the kitchen, and then presenting a finished product to a famished boyfriend and watching him lick his plate clean. It's simply the best. :-)