April 11

Well, I lost my own bet. The cancer has not spread to my lower, right arm. It has actually spread to my chest and lungs. So, boys and girls, stick a fork in me, I'm done. Dr. Miller is going to talk to Dr. Kim about chemo. I might go through another run of that just to keep the cancer shrunk down for a while to give me some time. One of the ladies that I was doing yoga with went that route. She's been doing it for 5 years now. Not that I expect it to give me THAT much time but other than making me pretty tired, the chemo wasn't that bad so I'll sit through another round just to keep peeps happy if Dr. Kim even thinks it's a valid option.

I sat down and made appropriate revamps to my will. I'm going to hand that off to baby doll's brother when I see him tomorrow so he can make the changes officially and we can have it witnessed again. I'm leaving the equity I have in the house, all the furballs,  a little cash, and my car to Jamie. As far as I know, he and I still have a deal that he's going to take over my mortgage payments and live in my house with my furballs so that they don't become homeless. Although baby doll might take Ethan and Sterling when he gets a house of his own. And no sweetie, you can't just take Ethan, you have to take Sterling too. They're best buds and a package deal as far as I'm concerned. The balance of my estate after bills are paid and the funeral is done will be split between baby doll and Samammy. I posted it once before but I'll say it again, if there's anything of mine that you want, to remember me by, let me know. 

On the bright side, I guess, is that Dr. M said I don't have to do any more HBO treatments. Yay! And he checked my neck and he said it looks like it's actually healing on its own. Again, yay, because I sure as hell am not going in for another surgery at this point.

And before anyone asks, no, I have no idea how long it's going to take for lung cancer to kill me. I was going to ask but then said screw it because I know I would get one of those non-answers. It's going to depend on if Dr. Kim thinks chemo is a valid choice and if the cancer responds to the chemo at all.

So that's my story. I should leave you on a happier note. I actually made Dr. Rob, the shrink who's managing my anti depressants, get teary eyed this morning. I saw him before I saw Dr. Miller. He was asking how things were going with baby doll. He told me that I spoke very lovingly of Scott the last time I was in. So I told him the Clorox wipe story and told him that sums up what an absolute sweetheart that I'm dating. Dr. Rob started wiping his eyes. Said I made him cry. He couldn't believe that I would mentally note a small gesture like that and cherish and value it. He thought that was wonderful. And he said he hopes that I shared that story with baby doll. I told him that I blogged about it and baby doll reads my blog. Dr. Rob thinks I'm a poet. :-)

Have a great weekend, it's supposed to be beautiful outside!