June 19th - Part II - Every time I think I'm going to have some questions answered, I end up with new questions. Ugh! So, the doctor just called. He said according to the CAT scan, I have no pathologic lymph nodes. I asked what pathologic means. He said cancerous. (Seriously, he couldn't just use the word cancerous??) I said good. So, based on what you told me last Friday, that means you can just chop my tongue out and I won't need radiation therapy. He said well.....it depends on the thickness of the growth, and we won't know the thickness until we remove it, but from what I saw, it's pretty big. Say what?? That was NOT mentioned last Friday. He said they are also going to remove the lymph nodes they found in the right hand side of my neck just to be safe. What the hell does it mean "they found", doesn't everyone have lymph nodes or are they something specific that occurs only when cancer is present?? He said there is also a lymph node in the left side of my neck that they are going to want to keep an eye on. Where the hell are lymph nodes located anyway, so now I'm going to have scars on my neck too? Thank goodness I have no interest in dating because I think I'm going to look like Frankenstein's monster by the time they're done with me! Meanwhile, who is actually going to be keeping an eye on this lymph node? I hope my primary care doctor can do this because I would really rather not have an ongoing relationship with Mr. No Bedside Manner.

So, I'm hoping that the video I get to watch next Monday answers a slew of questions. I am also going to sit down right now and start listing out the questions that I have to take with me.