November 16 - My man-servant recently commented that he's been failing at life for the past couple of months. I know how he feels. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror yesterday when I was getting in the shower. Ewwwww. I think I'm starting to look like a concentration camp victim. Although that's probably an exaggeration. I just happen to like a little meat not just on myself, but on people I date as well. It's simply my thing. So, I hopped on the scale this morning even though it's only been 5 days of chugging smoothies. I'm down 3 #%&^%$^ pounds! 130.8! WTF?!? I am now totally freaking out.

JT tried to make me feel better by saying maybe it's an 'off' day for weight. Like maybe I'm dehydrated. I started to feel better, for all of 2 second, thinking I might be able to blame it on fluctuations due to my girly thing but then remembered that the girly thing stopped 2 1/2 months ago. Probably because of the damn weight loss!

So today I started a food diary. I'm going to record everything I eat. I checked out one of those maintain weight calorie calculators. I need to eat 1600 calories a day to maintain my current weight. I also stopped at McDonald's at lunch. They have an eggnog milkshake going on right now. 680 calories. YES! Got me one of those, I'm halfway through it. Not sure I'm a fan of eggnog though.......

I feel like I should go back out on short term disability simply to get my eating back on track. It sounds ridiculous, even to my own ears, but this weight thing is becoming a ginormous concern. Luckily I have all of next week off so I'll be able to concentrate on getting food poured into my body.

Had to call in a refill on the pain meds again yesterday. And yes, I was given a hard time once again. This time Nurse Jane told me that I had to make it last until at least my 11/27 appointment. She said I need to start weaning off of it and using Advil instead. I'm now hoarding the damn stuff.

I also talked to her about the gagging again. I feel like the swelling of my tongue is getting worse rather than better! It turns out Addivan IS a controlled substance (I guess all the good stuff is). She basically told me to talk to Dr. A about it at the next appointment. Meanwhile, I was looking at my tongue this morning. I think I still have thrush. I have little groupings of white dots on my tongue which is what Dr. A told me to look for. Not for nothing, but I don't think the thrush actually went away when I was on that last round of meds. Something to talk to Dr. A about I guess. I COULD call in the backup refill that she placed for me but I refuse to take a teaspoonful a day. I would switch myself back to the half teaspoonful like the first time I was on this med, in the hopes that I could prevent the nausea this time around. ****I just called the pharmacy and asked them to fill the backup refill scrip. After typing that it could be a good idea, I decided to go ahead and implement. Anything that has a chance of making me feel better, I'd rather implement sooner rather than later.

Okay, I need to get my butt back to work for the final 1/2 day before a week of nothing! Woo hoo!