August 25

My tiny, non-existent veins strike again. After three very painful attempts, they managed to get an IV in but it's right at the crook of my elbow (right arm) so every time I move that arm, the flow of antibiotics cuts off and an alarm sounds. I tell you this because I will be typing this entire blog with the middle finger of my left hand which I can only guess will lead to a ton of typos so I'm apologizing ahead of time.

So, here's what's going on. Dr. M, Dr. V, and a red headed doc, Dr. O have been visiting regularly. My flap is alive and well. They seem to have fun using the Doppler thingie on it. Dr. O says he thinks they will be sending me home on Wed. or Thurs. of this week. He said I will need to be taught how to suction my stoma. The stoma being the big hole smack dab in the middle of my throat. He then expects me to have a weekly appointment with Michelle to work on speech and swallowing. It sounds like they would normally try to have me eating before leaving the hospital but since I'm already set up with a month's supply of feed at home, he'd rather get me beefed back up for a few weeks on that stuff first.

I've tried watching the "How to live with a Laryngectomy" video twice now but I can't seem to go long enough without an interruption to finish the darn thing. I think I have the basic gist of it. My nose and mouth are no longer connected to my lungs, just to my stomach. I am only breathing through the stoma. Swimming is forever off my list of things to do. No big heartbreak for me since I've never been a fan but it definitely puts a crimp in baby doll and it's cruise activities. I believe we had booked a catamaran sail, a powerboat excursion, as well as a foray to a water park. I wonder how he would feel about canceling the cruise and heading to Vegas instead.....

There is a special collar for me to wear in the shower so that I don't drown myself. As JT mentioned, Dr. M installed a speaking tube already. So, I either cover it with my finger to talk or they fit it with a "duck bill" which simply allows speech. I haven't got the scoop on that yet. Dr. O says I'll be wearing an air tube for a while or forever. I can't remember which. Maybe just the first 3-4 months is what he might have said. Your nose and mouth naturally warm and humidify the air you take into your lungs. I can no longer do that so an air tube will do it for me to begin with anyway.

The video, I would like to note, was made back in the 1960's. It's in black and white and the clothes these people are wearing are...well, not of my generation, to be polite. To the good, they have people talking using a number of different methods. All of whom are men over the age of 65 I might add. To the bad, the interviewer was asking some FAQ's and I had a very difficult time understanding the answers. I got the no swimming thing, and no bowel movement trouble (how the hell that question made the list is beyond me!) but there was a question about exercise that I missed the answer to. I think I might have an excuse to stop running 5k's though. Something about not being able to regulate my breathing maybe? Although I DO remember one guy bragging that his sex life is better than ever so some exercise is obviously okay.

I'm not likely to have much of a sense of smell anymore but there's no longer a chance of me choking on unchewed food. So, I guess I can breathe and eat at the same time unlike the rest of you mere mortals? Hey, it could be a valid super power.

Basically, I'm just winging things as usual. I'm a learn as I go type of gal.

So I'm currently not swallowing what builds up in my mouth. Sometimes I bite a piece of gauze to let it absorb it. Sometimes I suction it out with a tool my night nurse, Greg, set up for me. I'm not sure if I'm not swallowing because there's still too much swelling or because I don't know how to swallow yet. Guess I'll figure that out with Michelle.

Getting old seriously sucks. Twice now I haven't hit my call bell soon enough and have only had half my wires detached before having to grab the garbage can and pee into it. Yes, I just admitted that in public. I'm sure I'm not the only woman out there starting to get urgent bladder syndrome. :-p

My buddy H paid me a visit today as well as baby doll's sister, Karen and her hubby Scott. Not being able to talk is really hard. If anyone else decides to pop-in, come prepared with wild tales of adventure to entertain me with. Or like Scott, amusing videos of your pets. :-)

Baby doll made it home safe and sound. He'll be visiting me later this evening. And even better, he will hopefully be arriving with Puffs in hand (the non lotion ones cause I think they're slimy!). You would think hospitals would stock something other than sandpaper for delicate noses. H even went to the gift shop to find something slightly better and was unsuccessful. Hmmmmm, new business venture, opening small kiosks in hospitals to sell people what they really want. I smell riches....