August 29

Okay, time to catch things up. I was pretty darned miserable yesterday. I had to ask 4 people to NOT come visit me simply because I was in such a rotten mood. And to top it off, I had another new nurse, Bonnie, who was the worst one yet! (Note to Judy, she was very good at her job, it was simply a personality clash.) She was just way too handsy, constantly getting in my face, invading my personal space in a way nobody else had, not listening to understand. And man, she totally sucked at Charades. Ask baby doll. I don't think he was impressed either.

And let me tell you, this no talking thing seems to baffle a lot of people. Everyone keeps asking me questions that have a choice. Do you want the pillow on the chair or in the closet? At which point I have to stop what I'm doing to write out an answer. You'd think they could keep it at one choice and then if the answer was no. Offer me a different choice. I then tried to get smart and figured I would hold up one finger for option 1 and two fingers for option 2. This didn't really seem to work either. If my choice was one, then people thought I was asking them to wait a minute. And then there's the people who get impatient when you're writing out an answer to their question. Some of them look over my shoulder and try to guess what I'm going to write next in order to hurry things along. Which is okay if they have a brain. Kunkel can finish my sentences any day. Unfortunately, not a lot of people are as smart as Kunkel. Then there are the people who hate the silence while I'm writing and they start talking to fill it and end up asking 2-3 more questions which then makes my answer take even longer. Only one more month and then I will hopefully be healed enough to get fitted with a valve and Michelle and I can get to work.

Baby doll came and played cards last night. He was the only one my battered and bruised morale wanted to see last night. He's a balm for my soul. <3

Sam actually let me sleep in until 5:45 this morning! Can you believe it?? He then took out the drain in my leg. OMFG that was uncomfortable. Then he took all the staples out of my leg. I barely felt a thing. Then the rest of the sub-team came in. Brendan, Ryan, and Priya. I handed a new list of questions to Brendan:

- I told him the whole reason the new tumor was found was because I had a continuous ear ache starting in May. I thought it would be gone once the tumor was removed. It's not continuous anymore but man, 4-5 times a day a deep ache starts up and lasts for a good 10-15 minutes. He said Priya would take a look at me at one of my follow-ups and see if they can figure out why that's happening.

- I wanted to know when I could drive again. Brendan said to give it a few weeks. In order to drive, you need to be able to turn your neck which I cannot do at the moment.

- I asked if I could shower. Why yes, yes I could. And let me tell you, the moment they left the room that's exactly what I did for the first time in 7 days! OMG! Wonderful!

- Since they can't fit me with a valve until I heal, I basically have a big gaping hole in my neck. I asked if simply wearing one of the little crochet covers would be enough until I can get fitted. I reminded him that I live with 2 dogs and 2 cats. He said it would be fine. I'm still a little worried about that one simply because I know that I'm slightly allergic to my cats. It will be interesting to see how I fare.

- I then sang Sam to the high praises about what an awesome job he did taking out my stitches. How gentle he was and how he kept giving me little breaks. I thought it would be cool to give him kudos as a lowly student to his upper management guy and I think I was right based on the huge grin on his face. I then mentioned I had promised him cookies for his stellar effort and was wondering where I could deliver them to, to ensure Sam got them. Ryan spoke right up and said any and all baked goods could be given to him and he'd see that Sam got them. Not. They were funny, standing around joshing and joking with each other. I'm going to take a big container of 7 layer bars to my next appointment for the 4 of them. :-)

So, they left, I showered, and then I waited. I still needed sign off from either Dr. M or Dr. V about going home. Dr. V finally arrived around lunchtime. He said part of my flap is looking a little gray and may not survive. I asked him what that meant. He said it depends on the location of the flap failure. Currently, he just sees a piece at the top of the flap which he said will simply slough off if it dies and no worries. If things are deteriorating further down, then we will need to assess. He said the Doppler still sounds healthy and strong so he doesn't think there's going to be a problem but he wanted me aware of it just in case. I have an appointment with Dr. M On Friday, 9/6.

Toby and Ray decided to come visit me on their lunch break which was perfect timing. They had my ass home at 1:45 this afternoon. Woo hoo! I'm free! I'm free!

It's been kind of slow going since then. I needed pain meds immediately upon arrival. I gave those 15 minutes to kick in and then sat down for an hour long feeding. I was finally ready to get up and start kicking some ass when VNS called wanting to come over. So, they did. And that was an hour and a half long appointment. All I want to do is clean this pig pen, get things organized, and do a little nesting. Is that really too much to ask??

I did finally get something accomplished. I set up what I call the Gross Command Center in the basement. It's here that I will be doing all the disgusting little tasks that are needed to upkeep my new body style.

I also started whiteboarding the tasks that I will need to keep track of daily:

And I just realized that I need to add another category to that whiteboard. They keep referencing me as being malnourished in all the paperwork so I came home with no less than 11 prescriptions for crap to boost my health. Everything from Vitamin C to antibiotics to zinc acetate to calcium carbonate. I look like a freaking drug store over here! Luckily, they are all once daily items so not really a big thing. I think it's funny though that most people slowly build up their number of regular meds over the course of years. I get mine all in one shot!

Another item for the whiteboard, or maybe just a goal list somewhere.......things I want to do over the next 6 months:
- learn ASL - I've always wanted to be bilingual
- learn to sew - it seems like more and more often over the past year this would truly have been a huge asset of a skill to have
- make an attempt at a book - yeah, yeah, about 12 of you have mentioned it now so I might as well try it. Baby doll said he had a dream where I was "gone" and he actually published a book that was a combination of my blog and our e-mails (we e-mail each other at least once a day if not more often) and he titled it "Dying for Flowers". I told him if I didn't get around to writing a book or if I was no good at it, then he should feel free to capitalize off of me in any way, shape, or form that he can, should I be "gone" of course.
- take up scrapbooking again - good way to go through memories of a lifetime and it satisfies my OCD need to organize the hell out of something with all the down time I'm going to have.


Did I mention that Jamie was home when I arrived home? I had asked him to be on the lookout for a delivery that was coming between 5:30 - 7:30 tonight. I guess he decided to work from home for the day. I can't tell you how relieved I was. Not that I've had any problems whatsoever but it definitely boosted my comfort level having him here. Plus, I had him lifting and carrying a bunch of heavy stuff for me. He's the one that brought Gross Command from the spare bedroom on the second floor, into the basement for me. He also hung the really heavy mirror you see in the picture. And it turns out the delivery guy who just left here is deathly afraid of dogs and since I can no longer talk, I could not quickly or easily coax the dogs outside in order for him to make the delivery. So, Jamie and I tagged teamed each other with the dogs and we kept the delivery man safe.

By the way, here's the bedroom that is turning into a warehouse! Sheesh!

So, I'm sitting here at my desk, quietly blogging while I administer my evening feeding. Jamie is on the chaise, doing his thing with his own technology. This is exactly how I pictured my man-cave being used. Although baby doll was on the chaise when I pictured it. I'm sure Jamie's just keeping it warm for him. ;-)

I'm so excited to be home and to be nesting once again. James Brown had it right when he sang, I Feel Good!