September 12

Sorry about the radio silence, folks. What can I say. I haven't been feeling well either physically or emotionally. This is likely not going to be the usual upbeat, rambling Q blog. Be warned.

My biggest issue right now is the breathing thing. I had 5-6 people in my room at 8:00 last night because I had a clot from hell that I simply could not cough up. I finally got up part of it and had an okay night. Today it's been on again off again with the labored breathing. It's way worse when I lie down which means I'm not getting my naps in today like I normally do. Can you say cranky girl? Earlier today I suctioned myself until I made myself bleed. I kept hitting some sort of blockage part way down and it took some force to get past it. I squirted (4) saline bullets into my lungs trying to loosen it up, thinking it was the clot that's been bothering me. I finally called in my nurse, Casey, and had her suction me to see if she could feel it. She could so she called the respiratory team up to see me. Well, it turns out I was pushing the damn tube in way too far! I'm only supposed to go in ~5". So, now I know but I'm still back to being baffled as to why I'm having so much trouble breathing. I would go back to the whole breathing through a straw reason except it's intermittment. I'll hack up a clot and suddenly I'm breathing just fine for a few hours and life is wonderful. Then it gets labored again and no amount of coughing, or suctioning, or saline bullets seem to help. The one bright spot to all this is that I talked to Dr. V today and he thinks when I come into the office on Monday that we can switch me back out to the plain tube that I had in before this last surgery. Granted, I think that's still a temporary thing. I will eventually need an actual trach in order to be able to talk but talking and swallowing have been tabled for the next 4-6 weeks while everything heals up anyway. I'll be happy to go back to that plain tube. I was used to it and I could breathe!

Okay, so what else is going on. The drooling thing still sucks. Poor Dr. M puts a plastic stent in to help with the swallowing and it turns out to be a moot point because if I can't close my mouth, I can't even attempt to swallow!

The swelling in my face in general has finally gone down quite a bit. I look somewhat like myself. I'm really glad they didn't have to re-split my lip for this surgery but my neck is looking seriously awful. Granted there's a huge bolster currently holding the skin graft in place but from what I can see around the edges......horrible, just horrible. Actually, let me take a picture. I already warned you this was a gloomy blog, might as well gross you out as an added benefit. ;-P

Huh, that would seem to be beyond my ability. I took the picture with my iPhone, e-mailed it to myself, opened and saved it on the iPad, but the little picture icon on the blog doesn't offer "my pictures" as a place to choose pictures from. As amazing as today's technology can be, sometimes things aren't as straightforward as they really should be.

Okay, back to my grumping. They took one of my chest drains out today. The second one should be able to come out tomorrow. Last night they rewrapped my leg. They had it wrapped so tight the whole thing was swollen. It looks and feels much better today now that they loosened it. My IV broke down last night and I had to get a new one put in. No big surprise there. My dainty little veins can't support an IV for more than a day or two which SUCKS. I'm hoping I only have one more course of antibiotics to get through and that this new IV will last and then I will be done with the needles.

Hopefully done. Dr. O says I can go home tomorrow. Dr. M says I can likely go home tomorrow. Dr. V is talking about keeping me until Monday. I expressed my extreme displeasure over that. I think he got the message and I hope he springs me tomorrow.

I don't know that I have any funnies to share. Some other nurse answered my bell the other night because mine was on lunch. She walked in and saw my array of technology (wireless keyboard, iPad, iPhone, Boogie board and she exclaimed, oh, you're the one everybody has been talking about with all the cool toys!

The nightgowns that babydoll bought me for this stay have been a godsend. Not to mention they've received a ton of compliments. One of the guys on my ENT team saw me this morning and then was in again this afternoon with Dr. V. He jokingly commented that there was a wardrobe change since he was last in. I love when men notice crap like that. It makes me laugh!

Yesterday I had a student from St. John Fishers helping out my nurse. She and her instructor came in and the instructor started showing her all my war wounds and reviewing the type of care needed for everything. She then asked Maria (the student) to check my heartrate. Maria just stood there with all the color drained from her face and asked if she could have a minute outside the room. I couldn't tell if she was going to puke or pass out! Surprisingly, she was back an hour later and she was fabulous for the rest of the day! She was in my room a lot asking a billion questions off and on all day, she asked if she could watch me suction, she took me for a nice long walk...it was great! She asked if  all her questions were bothering me. I told her not at all. The more she learns, the better she'll be! At one point I asked my nurse for some pain meds. She said it was too soon and I should wait an hour or two. I was really bummed. She said that she would call my doc and see if there was anything else they could get me but then she went to lunch. I think Maria got ticked and felt that I was being given the run around by my nurse. As soon as my nurse went to lunch Maria went and asked the backup nurse if I could have some pain meds without mentioning the fact that it might be too soon. The backup nurse came right in and gave me the drugs with no problem whatsoever. How awesome was that?!? Maria is going to make one hell of a nurse if you ask me. :-)

I asked one of the care coordinators to contact UPstate Medical Supply for me today because I had a bunch of qwuestions for them in regards to the stuff that they provide me. She got me a really great contact over there and all my questions are being taken care of. I'm going to purcahse a second misting unit for the main floor of my house. They're way too heavy for me to be carting it up and down the stairs every day and the nurses think that I have a clot from hell right now because I haven't been on the misting machine enough. For $350 it seems worth purchasing a second one to keep in the office so I can wear it while I Wii. :-) I asked if they come on wheels as well to make it even easier to move it around the house. My contact said no but she recommended checking the garden department at Walmart for a planter that comes on wheels. New missiion for babydoll. ;-)

Okay, that's all I have for you today. Babydoll is coming tonight so that I can kick his ass at some Gin. He talked me into signing up for some football pool with him this year. Scores came out last night. I picked better than he did last week! I'm on a roll baby!