June 17

Things are not going well over here. I had a seriously bad afternoon yesterday. I went to bed at like 1:30 in the afternoon and stayed there right up until 6:30 when MonkeyGirl and ElRay came over for a snack break. Have I mentioned how stinkin' adorable that kid is?? Her little smile not only lights up a room, I'm pretty sure it lights up the entire block! I LOVE her! They didn't stay long and as soon as they left, I was back in bed. Pretty much stayed there until 7:30 this morning.

Meanwhile, all sorts of weird stuff is going on with my body. My right nostril started running last night and even after sitting there and wiping it for 10 minutes straight it wouldn't stop. I finally gave up and just let it drip.

I was so tired last night that I wasn't even thinking coherently for hours on end which was a really scary feeling.

I've lost even more use of my right hand and arm. I'm finding it difficult to put my hair in a pony tail as well as almost impossible to tie my stoma cover. I've been having to request help from whomever is handy. And of course you can imagine how hard it is to type pretty much one handed. It takes forever and there are a lot of boo-boos to go back and fix!

On top of that, my neck has torqued even farther. It is now at the point where I have taken the keys to my car away from myself, no more driving for me.  You should have seen how many people were staring at me at Walmart's yesterday morning. Not even remotely funny.

This morning I was walking out of the bathroom and with no warning whatsoever, projectile vomiting happened. Weird. 

And currently, my feeding tube hole is leaking and has been all morning. Simply won't stop. I have a washcloth tucked into my pants because I've had to change my shirt 4 times already this morning. Enough, I say!

Scott's blog posts next week might not get graphic but obviously mine do. LOL!

So, where did we leave off? I think I was headed to a birthday party for Scott's SIL with a hash brown casserole in hand...

And let me tell you, that family must eat the same darned thing at every party because pretty much everyone there, even non-family members, bee-lined for the new item in the lineup and kept asking what it was. Talk about stuck in a rut! Hopefully babydoll's next sweetie will be brave enough to add a little change to their family gatherings too. Shake things up a little! Meanwhile, Cheryl (the SIL) let me go through her recipe books. I found a triple chocolate cake that sounded good. Made it a couple of days later and it WAS good but not what I would call aesthetically pleasing. They tell you to grease and flour the inside of the bundt pan. Which I did using butter flavored Pam spray. Well, the outside of the cake turned piss yellow. I tried to cover it up by dusting powdered sugar all over it, didn't help. Scott's niece is on a quest for me, she's going to find out how here Mom prevents this from happening. Sheesh!

On Monday I was in the bedroom folding laundry with Ethan when we heard Laila shrieking with laughter next door. Sure enough, he was off the bed like a shot and running out the back door to say hi to his little friend. As he was jumping over the fence, Laila saw him and went running towards him, greeting him by name. Freakin' cutest thing on earth! I swear he thinks of himself as a teenager or something. When I went to Wegman's later that day I picked up a hula hoop and a jump rope for Laila and hung them on the fence between our yards with a note saying they were from Ethan. Later on that day I was out back and noticed the toys were gone and a basket was in its place. It was filled with cat snacks and cat toys and a note from Laila saying thank you to all the cats. :-)

Tuesday heralded the long awaited arrival of Aunt Helen, Uncle Sonny, Cousin Faith and Cousin Hope. Woo hoo! I had sent a message to Faith letting her know that I planned on doing up burgers and sausages on the grill and that I didn't want to hear any lip about how I shouldn't go through the trouble, and I should rest and take it easy, blah, blah, blah. She said nope, she was hoping I cooked for them! Ha! I immediately fell madly in love with her!

So they arrived, I put on a spread, we sat and visited. The kittens were a huge hit as usual. I swear they've had their picture taken more times in the past few weeks then I've had taken in the past 5 years!!!

Here's some pics. It was funny how my visitors were going around checking out some of the stuff that was in my blog like my wine rack and my flower garden. They said they didn't realize how big the flower garden was from the pictures. They thought it was much smaller so I took a picture of myself with it to hopefully give you a better scale.

Wednesday my friend T and her DIL, Jaime, came to pay me a visit. T has told me that one of the things she most appreciates about our friendship is that I've brought new things into her life, challenged her, and made her try new things that she never would have. With that in mind, I made them enchiladas for lunch because T said she had never had those before. They were, of course, a hit. :-) Yay! We had a good visit and I even managed to pawn off some clutter. I gave my Despicable Me Blu-Rays to Jaime for her kids and to T I gave my little handheld Shark vacuum cleaner for her camp. I also promised her my Keurig amd supplies for camp. I love when my stuff gets put to good use instead of simply being donated! It makes me feel like I'm carrying on out there. :-)

T asked me if I needed her to bring me anything. I told her I was in dire need of a helium foil balloon. Preferably in the shape of a butterfly or something else that's summery. She came through like you wouldn't believe! Check out this balloon! I named her Polly Mae....

It was a good visit. Lots of good hugs, a few tears, I love my T.

On to Thursday, when Nurse Erica stopped in to check on me. All checked out well. Very soon afterwards Sammy showed up to help me pack up more crap. I had no idea I owned so much stuff! We only got through half the basement. Not that this is a mission critical type thing. I just want to make things as easy as possible on Scott and Jamie when I keel over. The less girl stuff they have to paw through, the better. On the bright side, there's a good amount of stuff staying because Jamie is a typical bachelor who owns nothing so a lot of stuff will simply stay put for his use. Phew.

Thursday night baby doll had an early night with his daughter so I was left at a loose end for the night. J-man (also known as Sushi Guy) decided to help me out by coming over and trying out my new pizza stone with me. FUN! For years now he's been trying out different pizza restaurants near his house, looking for a stellar pizza. Based on the sounds he was making while eating the one that we made together, I think he has finally found the most awesome pizza, one cooked by Chef J! LOL!

While he was here he mentioned that he had been roped into managing the caving booth at the ADK Outdoor Expo on Saturday. If you remember, that's the thing I volunteered to do last year! I told him that I thought the two best things about the booth last year were Dan, holy cow what a great speaker, so knowledgeable and sociable! Even I had fun listening to him. The other thing was having some baked goods in the tent to hand out. I then offered to bake him some stuff if he wanted. He readily accepted which made me a very happy girl! I became a baking whirlwind, of course!

Friday brought about another busy day. Kit came over at 1:00. The funny thing was that I totally forgot she was coming over, even though she was on my calendar and everything, and I was sitting there, running around like a crazy woman, trying to clean for the arrival of my godparents and thinking that I really wish baby doll had taken the day off from work to help me. No sooner do I think it and poof, Kit appears! It was a total miracle, let me tell you!

So she buzzed me on a bunch of errands and started helping me in the kitchen. It was fantastic. I can't even begin to state how thankful i was for her help that day. 

Aunt Diana and Uncle Richie showed up late in the afternoon at which point Kit left us. Unfortunately I was still a little behimd with what needed to be done so I booted them to the back patio, gave them some food to nibble on before dinner and finished up with the house. Baby doll and Jessica showed up around 7:00 - 7:30 and we had BBQ ribs for dinner. Yum! Then, because it was Friday the 13th, Jessica wanted to rent and watch the movie, Friday the 13th. I can only assume that went fine because I was asleep moments after it started. What? You didn't expect anything less from me, did you?? LOL!

Saturday we took Aunt Diana and Uncle Richie sight seeing. First stop? Pittsford Wegman's. Ha! Yeah, I know. Seems weird but I mention Wegman's so often in here and they don't have them in CT. They were pretty blown away. They have never seen a grocery store that big before! Next up was the Ontario Antiques Mall to look for an urn for me. I finally found one! I just need to see if I can get a rubber, or foam, or cork stopper made for it. Aunt Diana and Uncle Richie did me the honor of purchasing my last resting place. Wasn't that sweet? I also bought a handful of smaller containers to transport the parts of me that will be going other places. The most recent of which is the Redwood Forest, brought there by Andy.

    Then it was back home for dinner, burgers and pizza and then we were off to Painting with a Twist with baby doll's sister, Karen. And what a blast we had! This time I specifically did not follow instructions but I think the result was far better than last time. Uncle Richie also went way off course but he actually is really artistic so he was fine doing his own thing. The instructor ended up being Jordan again. I talked to her a little bit about my situation. I made her cry. :-( She wants to come over and paint one on one with me. I would LOVE that! She was actually supposed to come over today and help Sam and I do some packing but as mentioned previously, I had a seriously bad night and didn't think I would be up for it so I canceled. As you can see I've spent most of today so far blogging and I have to say, I think it's done me a world of good. I believe I've just been overdoing things and I needed a down day. Sitting in front of my pc composing my thoughts all day has provided that and I'm feeling much better.

Pictures!

Oh! And for no apparent reason, Karen brought me a sparkly before we went painting. She said they just wanted me to have something pretty. I love it!

Sunday, Aunt Diana and Uncle Richie left around 9:30 and then Sammy and the kids came over at noon. Not a packing day, just my one last time to see the kiddos and get some goodbye hugs. Once again, the kittens were a big hit. Instead of Cathy time, we had Cat time. ;-) Sam told me to check pockets before letting them leave because she swore they were going to wind up with at least one of the munchkins. Luckily, the kids were smart enough to leave them behind. I can't tell you how many offers I've had for people to adopt these two little trouble makers. I have to keep explaining that they're not mine to give away. Jamie said that he thinks he wants to keep them so until I hear differently, they're HIS kittens. Might be just as well because Sterling is gone, gone, gone. Thank goodness poor Ethan has had the munchkins to distract him, otherwise, I think he might be lonely. I'm now wondering if baby doll shouldd adopt Ethan after all. If he has to go live by himself in baby doll's house, I don't think he's going to be a happy camper. :-( Which reminds me, Sam told me that Mason asked if they could have my cats when I died. Ha! I believe this was on the drive up too so he hadn't even met the kittens yet and he was already trying to claim them! That kid cracks me up. I'm really glad to hear he's a cat guy though. I love cat guys! Big bummer that his parents are allergic to cats. He's going to have to wait until he gets a pad of his own before realizing the dream.

Sunday night I started feeling not so great. I was invited to go watch a movie at Karen's house along with Scott and Jessica. I wasn't really up for it but decided that I could just as easily nap over there, surrounded by people who love me, as I could over here, home, alone. So, I went. Sure enough I didn't see ANY of the movie. Got a good nap in though! And I finally got to really meet Karen's dogs. What a group of cuties! I thought that Scooter was my favorite from pictures and whatnot but it turns out I'm a fan of Stitch and Sapphire instead. Stitch was just so wiggly and happy. He kept making me laugh! And Sapphire was a very sweet puppy. Wanted a lot of attention and was very affectionate.

Phew. Are we almost caught up yet?!?

Monday I woke up groggy. Managed enough energy to do a little Walmart shopping which is where I discovered I'm done driving now, and then I cooked lunch for the Euchre boys. A little pasta with meat sauce and some baked ziti. Even half asleep RayB and I made a good showing against Jer and JT. But JT pulled a loner out of his ass at the end of the rubber match and stole the world champion QED win. Bastard. He won't be invited back again. 

LMAO!

So that brings us to today where I've had a nice, quiet, down day. I was really worried last night. I thought my run of having fun was over but I seem to have bounced back today. Thank goodness because there is still a lot of fun scheduled! Here's the continued lineup. JBB says she loves having a schedule so that she knows what I'm up to and doesn't worry when I don't e-mail her back promptly. She's such a mom!




6/18 - Mom and Aunt Nancy arrive for a visit. Going to Painting with a Twist with Mom and Aunt Nancy. Meeting baby doll's niece, Stephanie (aka my master taste tester of new recipes) and friend there
6/19 - Erika does a morning check in and Rob-dude, my baby brother, comes in from Boston that afternoon/evening for a goodbye visit
6/20 - Appointment with Dr. Rob in the morning to discuss 6/23 plan and one last QED poker game for the road
6/21 - Hanging out with Lou and his wife for a lazy Saturday afternoon shopping at a flea market and then it's off to dinner at Toby and Pamela's to test out Toby's new grill!
6/23 - D-Day

Okay, that right there is the blog to end all blogs if you ask me. Baby doll can't believe how much time blogging takes. I told him that I felt everyone was nuts when they were saying I should write a book. This thing is already a book if you ask me! And as I said in the comments field of my blog when I replied to Renee, baby doll has tentative plans to turn this into a book but if he falls down on the job, Aunt Helen and the entire Long Family have my permission to move forward and get it done. I know this is something she feels somewhat passionate about and I feel confident that she can make it happen. I'm pretty sure she's going to need to too because baby doll's passion lies more towards getting something done about the Physician Assisted Suicide thing. He wrote a letter to Governor Cuomo the other day. I was pretty blown away. Here's what he had to say:

Dear Governor Cuomo,

My girlfriend is Catherine Quinn. She is 44 years old and dying of tongue cancer. She has been battling this disease for two years.  She has fought it at every turn. She no longer can speak, smell, eat, drink, or even control her own saliva. She breathes through a stoma. She is in constant pain. She can not move her neck. I could go on about the scars and operations this inspiring woman has endured. The bottom line is that she will not live through he summer. I encourage you to read her blog chronicling her courageous battle. The site is owmytongue.blogspot.com. Anyone who reads it is awestruck by the courage and humor she demonstrates with this ordeal. It is truly inspiring. 

Because we live in a state that does not support the Death with Dignity Act, she must suffer while she waits to die. If we lived in Vermont, she could get a prescription that would hasten her death without suffering. We both wish we lived in Vermont. Studies have shown that just by having this option available, it reduces suicides. It allows people the opportunity to have some control of their own life.

I don't know anything about the politics involved in making this a reality in New York. Please fix this. I don't care how hard it may be for you to accomplish this. It is your responsibility to make it happen. New Yorkers should not be required to suffer at end of life.

Consider this e-mail, me, shouting at the top of my lungs for your help. This should not have to happen to another living soul in this state.

Please help. I would welcome the opportunity to speak to you about this. There simply is no credible reason a compassionate thinking person would not want this available to a loved one. What will you do to change this?

Sincerely,

Scott Barraco

Okay, I'm really done now. I'm going to go syringe some Jevity and see what other relaxing activity I can indulge in today. Maybe wrassle with a munchkin or two. They always seem to be up for a spot of fun. Although according to Mason they sleep too much......